two words which make me freak out;

general anaesthetic,

TOTORO ! my one true love,

my housemate bestowed this picture for me, i must say she made my day, week, life.

she understood my feelings for totoro & that makes me real happy.

totoro, you will be my favourite forever.

you & me baby;

the epic lifestyle includes;

TAB bets,

high waisted real tight black jeans,

snorting coke to get thin and not buy food because you only have $15 for two weeks,

barfing,

makeouts,

sick fixed gear bikes or 'fixies',

real cool watches,

mad beats,

giant building sized goon bags for those memorable times,

miniature donkey, for that long term investment, you know ?

dear blog.

i;m retardedly drunk & going to fall asleep watching daria.

had an awesome bike ride, it was awesome.

STORMS !

today;s storm inspired me to look up photos of storms.

our house took some battering; water coming out through electrical sockets, light sockets, gate falling off hinges, couches on verandah soaked, dead microwave, bikes indoors, water down walls, leaks in roof.

i thoroughly enjoi watching storms however, they;re beautiful.

i can;t study, again.

what happens when you move out of home;

i recently found out that my mother has created a facebook account.

simply so she can look on my profile, she even told me so.

i actually don;t even know what to say.

WILL MARRY YOU IF THESE ARE PROVIDED;

and if we lived among this;

hurty legs !

so i rode my bike today to work, that did ok, i rode my bike home, that didn;t do so well.

i hope nobody i know actually sees me ride a bike because i;m possibly the worst bike rider i.e. i tried to turn a corner and ended up on grass, missing the pavement entirely and tried to cover my shock at how bad a move i had just made with a kind of casual smile lyk i had actually intended on pulling that move. i;m also horrible at mounting & dismounting. i really hope nobody sees me ride unless i;m on my bike because that;s when i look lyk a 'babe'.

however me riding has resulted in extremely sore legs. the rest of my afternoon started off ok, well i could walk. went out to the north perth bowls club, had an enjoyable evening, spent my night walking home dragging my right leg. my legs have not been in so much pain for so long, i actually started crying, i even fell over when trying to get up off my bed. the solution was eating a bowl of pasta bake, i don;t care what anyone says, i love it & it sat perfectly & felt me up in all the right places.

this blog has taken me about 30 minutes to write because there is a bag of twisties right next to me also and i keep having handfuls of them. om nom nom nom nom ! i;m going to go to bed, fall asleep watching the cat returns, sleep in & down painkillers so that i never have to feel my legs again. (twisties in hand then mouth).

p.s. virtuosity is a really weird movie. the special effects are priceless.

bike ride

i went on my second bike ride today, to get off my butt, only to sit on my butt but have the additional aspect of moving legs.

i think i rename the bike, 'black stallion' or maybe even just 'the stallion' yeh i think i lyk that one better. it;s all black with mustard yellow on the tyres, the previous owner (weinor) named it 'black beauty' and after putting a $50 deposit down it became mine.

yesterday was my first bike ride in i;d say about a few months, no soft seat = being taken advantage of. however if you stand up the seat can rub up the right way at the gentlest touch. even though my whole groin/butt area feels lyk it;s bruised & when poked (not entirely sure as to why it would be poked ?) i squirm, i continued on with my trek. i thoroughly enjoi riding around the back streets, i see all these houses i hope never change or become modernized. i;ve seen one 'modernisationed' house across from hyde park, it really just DOES NOT work. classic stylez are best.

half got lost but i managed to find my way by going 'ok i went downhill down this street so if i go uphill in whatever street i come across i;ll get to somewhere i know'. i think i;m getting better at this whole directions thing. last time i was in morley trying to get my youth allowance i got lost for an hr wearing black pants and stuck in the sun, no shade and i mean no shade and i;m pretty sure that;s the sweatiest i;ve ever gotten. not to mention smelling awful. you know how you get to the stage of smelling bad lyk 'oh there;s a tad b.o popping up here', then you go past that little tad to PUTRID. i was that person, i spent $12 on a new clinically proven deoderant (now it just stops me from sweating but not from smelling, so i guess clare is right in saying i have a smell problem, maybe). but the thing was i shouldn;t have gotten lost because my iphone has GPS which told me all the streets and the EXACT path to take, only i didn;t get it, resulting in me on the verge of tears, sweating, smelling & looking unpleasant. my groinal area was even wet, but not in the good way, the way i would have preferred it to have been. i kind of forgot to the point of relating this story to my current story, i guess the moral could be i;m awful with reading maps and anything with directions.

i stopped by a playground and sat on the swings, it felt pleasant until i realised i;d skulled a full milk coffee before going to get me pumped up ! and then i started feeling a bit queeezy, and somehow retardely enough i got a cramp in my left leg from not really even moving it. i thereby decided to get off the swing and move onto sitting down and gazing on the parkland. the first thing i thought of was 'is this parkland over an old rubbish site?' i learnt about these things, most parklands are made over old rubbish tip sites as there;s nothing you can do with the waste anymore except cover it. neat-o ! but sometimes when i;m alone and i can see nobody there, i kind of get amazed at the fact that there;s over 6 billion people in the world and i;m 1 of those 6 billion people and i;m standing alone in this one place and nobody else is there & this place is great. i enjoi thinking about things lyk that, it;s pleasant to my brain.

i rode home and collapsed on the couch, i feel real dizzy now. i probably shouldn;t have skulled that coffee and then rode real fast and then went on a swing and then pondered about parks being built over rubbish sites (though i do wonder whether the world will push it all back out and the core would laugh in our faces for being so stoopid about our waste, i just imagine an orange perfect circle ball with a great face lol'ing) hopefully by then though me and the core would be great friends & would spare me my life.

i;m now going to make pasta bake and salad and go om nom nom nom nom because i haven;t yet had a proper meal today and it;s 6;03pm.

JIZZM !

i would say this could/would be the ultimate foursome experience.

walking & apricot cream.

i;ve bought these new boots off etsy, they are real pretty however they break the shit out of my feet. i;ve bought leather stretcher, it didn;t really work so i;ve kinda developed a funny walk. i tried my hardest while wearing them at uni not to walk that badly, by simply walking very very slowly. finally on my walk home from the bus stop i let my retarded walk go loose, and then i realised how i was walking lyk; all those girls who wear boots doing the whole rocker image with diva necklaces. it;s an actual walk which i have now succumbed to in order to wear my really great boots. now i think about weather i want to be a part of that walk image or to just not wear the boots, it;s really quiet the dilemma. am i now going to have to invest in really crappy jewellery ? does that mean i actually have to wear jewellery ? (for all you men out there, i;m yr dream girl because i don;t care for jewellery, all you have to do is buy me a succulent or cactus, seriously that;s how i;m woo;d).

the womansion had a nutrimetics party on monday night i believe it was, i ended up buying incredibly expensive face wash & treatment. i was sold. she had a very influential selling technique & i have the best buying technique, you can honestly say anything to me & i will buy it. she told us all these cool facts i.e. australia has the second harshest climate in the world, (i mean woah) and showed us this powder you can put on yr face after you put yr normal make up on & oh my god it doesn;t smudge yr other makeup, (seriously mind blowing). this party made me realise however how much of a pushover i am, i believe anything. what kind of affect is this going to have on me in years to come ? i am starting to wonder.

i nearly bought this apricot cream which had 5.5 kg of apricot in it, apparently it heals errything. if you rub it on yr feet & then put socks over the top it makes yr blisters go away over night (currently have a few due to boots). i also have a scar on my ankle (a growth got cut out but once someone asked if it was from a skating accident, so i just go with that) & i want it to go away. luckily due to poor funds i could not afford the cream. i feel lyk i;m missing out on some amazing medical treatment, all done by apricots, a tasty summer treat. maybe i should buy 5.5 kg of apricots and make my own jizz ?

i love the narrators voice in the royal tenenbaums & the tennis commentators in it. i want them to read to me every evening.

WEINOR !

having a weinor in yr life makes life worth living, here are just a few examples;

it brings out yr desires & passions for succulents & cacti, unleashing that beast within which was kept hidden while living with parentals.

it makes you want to have/style the epicness of her fringe.

it makes you want to be as nice to people.

it makes you want to not let people push you around.

it makes you realise yr mistakes which nobody else really bothers to do.

it makes you appreciate the ones which are good to you.

it makes you want to be the bestest friend a friend could ever have

it inspires you.

i wish i could feed you apple sauce all day & have you listening to blink 182 because you are so damn special & i want you to know it.

what i achieve in life;

i achieved this amazing thing last weekend;

how to stock a fridge absoloutely properly ! which amazingly enough a lot of people find hard to do i.e. everyone at my work. i took all the drinks out & washed down the fridge, clearing all the grease which nobody has done for maybe the whole time we;ve been opened & i must say i was damn proud of my job. i made everyone gather round & look upon it. i;m yet to show my mother how good at life i truly am. i;ve also considered taping this picture to the fridge so people know what a stocked up fridge actually looks lyk but it might come across as kinda mean. i feel lyk my housemate; anally retentive, she;s very good at that, bless her wee little heart.

I WISH I COULD STUDY & NOT BE PROCRASTINATING LYK THIS.

chicken & mayo sandwhich gone wrong part one;

for lunch i was really craving a sandwhich, i decided about chicken schnitzel with mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato and onion. as it was going into my mouth, down my throat, into my stomach and later into my intestines (i know heaps about human biology & digestive systems) it was tasting real good.

about an hour later as i was in the city, i was craving a bit of lemonade, so evidently i bought some & it was yum yum. i noticed however after sipping this delicious beverage that my stomach was indeed feeling a bit funny, i thought it was the sprite just sitting in my stomach & being weird, maybe even acting out towards me for inducing it.

as i left the city, just before i reached my car my throat was preparing itself for some stomach contents to come it;s way, including the action of over salivation. now this was happening on a busy st and i could not bear having anyone coming up to me & bothering me while i was in the zone, or the fact that i would be barfing on a tree, so i swallowed and swallowed and then decided i would rather throw up on myself than in public. i managed to survive the ride home, felt fine & dandy, until...

my housemate came home from uni & so we decided upon getting some dinner. we got to leederville, she ordered her burger & as i was about to get cash out, the over salivation began again. i ran down an alley way and had my way with my throat. an epic experience as part of my epic lifestyle. finally when we reached home, it all came out; this is where i got to see my once lovely sandwhich not looking so lovely. the moral of the story is, don;t eat chicken schnitzel & mayo sandwhiches even though you trust the place that makes them. & never barf on a tree, it;s no fair !

best housemate award goes to;

clark weed-on.

if the rest of you gave me perfume (maybe even shoes or clothing) you no longer wanted anymore then yes i would award you. however in her act of kindness she did have to say i had a smelling problem (clear lie, sorry for having 8 different deodorants) which is why she 'had' to give it to me.

nonetheless i am super grateful/stoked/excited because i;ve ran out of perfume, which may possibly have led her to think i had a smelling problem in the first place (not the 8 deodorants in my bathroom).

my thoughts this morning;

after much consideration & deliberation i realized i don;t lyk capsicum.