DILEMMA !

recently i;ve been questioning what it is that i want to do with my life. i used to be so certain.

i remember in year 10 walking around the park with my mum telling her i decided that i wanted to do psychology, all i wanted was to study psychology, it interested me so much knowing how the brain worked & why people learnt the way they did or the things they do. i remember jumping around from excitement knowing that i was one of the few in my year who knew exactly what they wanted as a career.

by year twelve as i was enrolling into all the universities, i discovered a new love. the love of trees, knowing how the world worked & wanting to save it. launching out of the main tisc universities i sent an application to notre dame to do a bachelor of behavioural science, a degree i could later add another onto. i was accepted into notre dame, i went and then added a bachelor of science majoring in environmental management.

i;ve currently done two years, having deferred one year.

these last 6 months though, while working in hospitality & living out of home i;ve started questioning what i want, what i want to do with my life, what it is that i want to achieve ? i;ve found a new love, hospitality, well namely cafe;s. i;d love to run my own cafe, it;d be full of succulents, inside & out & it would be the most 'fully sick' cafe.

so now these are my options;

• continuing my double degree
• going to a real good place to learn how to make good coffee, leading to barista work
• going to tafe to study business
• continuing to work at that 'funky, quirky, fun' burger bar & saving money to open up a new cafe
• continuing making an epic collection of succulents (obviously that;s happening regardless) (they;re soon going to be errywhere & i mean errywhere)

so, the thing is i guess really i want to do it all but how do i do it ? which do i want to do more than the other ? i want to make music also because i love doing it & you know what, i;m really good at it. maybe i should work & make music & save money & live the epic lifestyle & do a certificate in business at tafe while becoming a barista & then open up a cafe which will contain a collection of succulents ? ah the dilemma;s of life.

weekend entailings;

included;

• beck;s music box
• health
• white wine
• vodka
• ruby woo
• deathly punch (drink not too the face)
• bruises
• cut lip
• cut up roof of mouth
• damage to tongue webbing piercing
• toothbrush down throat (only leading to coughing & over production of saliva rather than the actual intention of causing throwing up)
• being spoken dirty too (oh & french guy i looked up the translation of my name in english to french translator and it did not mean those dirty dirty things you claimed my name meant)
• breakfast at cantina
• snot on dress
• still kind of drunk at work leading to not hearing customers properly & most likely causing them a lot of frustration.
• way too good people.

obviously my weekend consisted of alcoholism leading me to feel lyk an old lady. i found a bottle of wine in my bag this morning, i;m so glad that i didn;t open it last night, otherwise i feel lyk i never would have recovered, that would then be called an 'epic fail'. i however want to live the 'epically good lifestyle'. the end.

friday night; 26th of febuary.

a french guy came up to me tonight, asked me what my name was.

apparently in french it meant 'dirty' & that he would lyk to have that 'dirty' in his bedroom.

then he said my name backwards meant 'pussy'.

obviously by this point i was majorly attracted to him, so i claimed i had a boyfriend & that it was 'real nice' to talk to him & walked away and was all lyk 'oh my goddddd', then he came back up to me and told me that he was dancing for his majesty;s theatre so i should come.

clearly i;m going to go, i mean he;s from france and he said my name means 'dirty' & 'pussy', how is that not irresistible ?

jizzing myself.

this is the succulent i want/need/want & need to make love to.

i;ve been eying it off for months, tried to steal a brown version, didn;t get away with it.

baby, you will be mine.

p.s. i will steal succulents.

university; day three.

after sitting in my class for two hours in which i drew a birds eye view of my room which incorporated where i would place all my furniture (an important task) and a shopping list which is healthy & good for me (full of fruit and vegetables), which most likely i will not eat due to a hectic schedule and party/punk/rock & roll lifestyle i lead (being a burger bitch is hard work), i only caught onto the last thing my lecturer said;

'this year there will be a disease that will kill millions & we don;t know what it is'.

probably not those exact words but i put them in bold so that it would emphasis it as being said lyk a dark scene in a campfire horror story. i want to know what this disease will be, what it mutated from, will it attack me ? i;m thinking i should start exercising & eating my fruit and vegetables.

thank you microbiology.

look here; i get to learn about him & how he works.

beach house; teen dream.

my favourite tracks be zebra, lover of mine & take care.

dear friend;

so when you rang me today, you made me feel real good.