JIZZM !

i would say this could/would be the ultimate foursome experience.

walking & apricot cream.

i;ve bought these new boots off etsy, they are real pretty however they break the shit out of my feet. i;ve bought leather stretcher, it didn;t really work so i;ve kinda developed a funny walk. i tried my hardest while wearing them at uni not to walk that badly, by simply walking very very slowly. finally on my walk home from the bus stop i let my retarded walk go loose, and then i realised how i was walking lyk; all those girls who wear boots doing the whole rocker image with diva necklaces. it;s an actual walk which i have now succumbed to in order to wear my really great boots. now i think about weather i want to be a part of that walk image or to just not wear the boots, it;s really quiet the dilemma. am i now going to have to invest in really crappy jewellery ? does that mean i actually have to wear jewellery ? (for all you men out there, i;m yr dream girl because i don;t care for jewellery, all you have to do is buy me a succulent or cactus, seriously that;s how i;m woo;d).

the womansion had a nutrimetics party on monday night i believe it was, i ended up buying incredibly expensive face wash & treatment. i was sold. she had a very influential selling technique & i have the best buying technique, you can honestly say anything to me & i will buy it. she told us all these cool facts i.e. australia has the second harshest climate in the world, (i mean woah) and showed us this powder you can put on yr face after you put yr normal make up on & oh my god it doesn;t smudge yr other makeup, (seriously mind blowing). this party made me realise however how much of a pushover i am, i believe anything. what kind of affect is this going to have on me in years to come ? i am starting to wonder.

i nearly bought this apricot cream which had 5.5 kg of apricot in it, apparently it heals errything. if you rub it on yr feet & then put socks over the top it makes yr blisters go away over night (currently have a few due to boots). i also have a scar on my ankle (a growth got cut out but once someone asked if it was from a skating accident, so i just go with that) & i want it to go away. luckily due to poor funds i could not afford the cream. i feel lyk i;m missing out on some amazing medical treatment, all done by apricots, a tasty summer treat. maybe i should buy 5.5 kg of apricots and make my own jizz ?

i love the narrators voice in the royal tenenbaums & the tennis commentators in it. i want them to read to me every evening.

WEINOR !

having a weinor in yr life makes life worth living, here are just a few examples;

it brings out yr desires & passions for succulents & cacti, unleashing that beast within which was kept hidden while living with parentals.

it makes you want to have/style the epicness of her fringe.

it makes you want to be as nice to people.

it makes you want to not let people push you around.

it makes you realise yr mistakes which nobody else really bothers to do.

it makes you appreciate the ones which are good to you.

it makes you want to be the bestest friend a friend could ever have

it inspires you.

i wish i could feed you apple sauce all day & have you listening to blink 182 because you are so damn special & i want you to know it.

what i achieve in life;

i achieved this amazing thing last weekend;

how to stock a fridge absoloutely properly ! which amazingly enough a lot of people find hard to do i.e. everyone at my work. i took all the drinks out & washed down the fridge, clearing all the grease which nobody has done for maybe the whole time we;ve been opened & i must say i was damn proud of my job. i made everyone gather round & look upon it. i;m yet to show my mother how good at life i truly am. i;ve also considered taping this picture to the fridge so people know what a stocked up fridge actually looks lyk but it might come across as kinda mean. i feel lyk my housemate; anally retentive, she;s very good at that, bless her wee little heart.

I WISH I COULD STUDY & NOT BE PROCRASTINATING LYK THIS.

chicken & mayo sandwhich gone wrong part one;

for lunch i was really craving a sandwhich, i decided about chicken schnitzel with mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato and onion. as it was going into my mouth, down my throat, into my stomach and later into my intestines (i know heaps about human biology & digestive systems) it was tasting real good.

about an hour later as i was in the city, i was craving a bit of lemonade, so evidently i bought some & it was yum yum. i noticed however after sipping this delicious beverage that my stomach was indeed feeling a bit funny, i thought it was the sprite just sitting in my stomach & being weird, maybe even acting out towards me for inducing it.

as i left the city, just before i reached my car my throat was preparing itself for some stomach contents to come it;s way, including the action of over salivation. now this was happening on a busy st and i could not bear having anyone coming up to me & bothering me while i was in the zone, or the fact that i would be barfing on a tree, so i swallowed and swallowed and then decided i would rather throw up on myself than in public. i managed to survive the ride home, felt fine & dandy, until...

my housemate came home from uni & so we decided upon getting some dinner. we got to leederville, she ordered her burger & as i was about to get cash out, the over salivation began again. i ran down an alley way and had my way with my throat. an epic experience as part of my epic lifestyle. finally when we reached home, it all came out; this is where i got to see my once lovely sandwhich not looking so lovely. the moral of the story is, don;t eat chicken schnitzel & mayo sandwhiches even though you trust the place that makes them. & never barf on a tree, it;s no fair !

best housemate award goes to;

clark weed-on.

if the rest of you gave me perfume (maybe even shoes or clothing) you no longer wanted anymore then yes i would award you. however in her act of kindness she did have to say i had a smelling problem (clear lie, sorry for having 8 different deodorants) which is why she 'had' to give it to me.

nonetheless i am super grateful/stoked/excited because i;ve ran out of perfume, which may possibly have led her to think i had a smelling problem in the first place (not the 8 deodorants in my bathroom).

my thoughts this morning;

after much consideration & deliberation i realized i don;t lyk capsicum.